My Birthday Wishlist

Hi everyone, in a couple of weeks….on the 3rd of November I will have existed/lived on this earth for 20 years. Wow, how did that happen?

This isn’t a post about reflecting on my life and shit because there’s not that much to talk about. The purpose of this post is right in the title so I’m heading straight to the point

To be honest there isn’t anything too fancy on this list, It’s just a couple of things on my to buy list and I thought, well may as well get other people to do the buying for me. Fabulous

So to all my friends, acquaintances, admirers and enemies. Here’s what I’d like for my birthday

- Harry Potter Book Set: If you know me then you know I’m a complete Potterhead, as well as a book addict so this would actually be fucking amazing. I’ve read all the books before obvs but this is a series I can gladly re-read every couple of years. Hardback or Paperback, I’m not choosy

- A wig: I’d really like a wig from Orion Beaute, her Instagram page is @orionbeaute_ and I intend on getting a blonde straight one, 20/22 inches.

Side note, if you end up getting this could you pleaseee let her know it’s for me cause either way I’m gonna get it. So I’d like to not end up buying a wig that someone is already getting me; I’d also like it to arrive on or before my birthday so I can wear it and turn up. And while you’re there you should check her stuff out, they’re fabulous and she’s got amazingly affordable prices that won’t break your bank I promise

- Trainers: I’m a size 8. Any of these would be cool by me

- Jeans: I mean, I need a new pair, I’m a W32 L34 kinda girl

- Fenty Beauty Trophy Wife Highlighter: Help me glow and shine and sparkle please

- Ivy Park: I mean obviously, this is Queen Bey’s merch. Am I really a fan if I don’t get me some ivy park? A large would be good

- Heels: I’m a size 9, for some reason I go a size up when I’m getting heels

- Boots (Size 8)

Thigh high boots would be absolutely amazing too. I’ve always wanted some (I showed my dad some when he was around and he squeezed his face and asked why I would want something only prostitutes wear. He then proceeded to berate me about my absolute lack of fashion sense. So I guess they won’t be coming from him)

- Bomber Jacket: Idk when I’ll wear it in this nasty Glasgow autumn/winter weather but I’d like it all the same, a size 14/16 would be great

- Perfume: I don’t have any specific one in mind, just need to stock up on perfume so I don’t run out and have to actually buy some. Imagine that happening

- Food: I wouldn’t mind being treated to lunch or dinner anywhere

- A onesie or any comfy pyjamas, they’re cute okay? I can cuddle in them and with my teddy bears. Come to think of it teddy bears would be a good addition too. A girl can never have too many

- Last but definitely not the least, MONEY : MONEY, MONEYS, DOLLARS, POUNDS. If you can’t be bothered to get anything on this list then I will definitely not be averse to receiving money. Cash, Cheque, Bank Transfer; I don’t give a fuck how it gets to me but I’d like it all the same. If you would like to go for this route then hit me up and I will gladly send you my sort code and account number. Thanks babes

To all my dear friends, do try and find out what other people are getting so I don’t get two of the same present. Love y’all

Hit me up if you need my address as well darlings. I’m honestly being so nice and considerate, giving you guys this list early so you can have time to plan. Like wow, I’m really such a wonderful human being and everyone who knows me should count themselves lucky……and buy me presents.

Let’s make this birthday a great one for me. I’m cool and I deserve nice things so yeah. Also post my picture everywhere and gas me up and shit, I like attention so pay attention to me and tell me how amazing I am. I mean, I already know (obviously) but it’d be nice to hear.

Oh and here’s a short shameful story; for my birthday last year I booked a booth and had a club night. The booth came with one bottle of grey goose vodka, and when they brought out the vodka I was so gassed and took a video and posted it on my snapchat. The caption was ‘I now pop bottles bitchessssssss’ Bottles… in plural when it was crystal clear that there was just one measly lonely bottle of alcohol. It is one of my biggest shames, but to be fair I was drunk and the decisions I make when I’m drunk aren’t my brightest.

Anyway November 3rd, save the date





I write down my disheveled thoughts

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